Saturday, January 1, 2011

An AKIC&TKIC January 1 narrative.

As AKIC writes this, he wears a toque and a housecoat.
 
  • New Year's Eve, the family K was in bed by 1130 pm.  Midnight passed without incident.  AKIC had done his New Year's countdown and rendition of "Auld Lang Syne" at about 745 pm with students at an English Corner -- he worked till nine pm.   Before lights out, Andis read some David Warren columns -- a divine way to end the year.
  • Andis told the English Corner that the highlight of 2010 was watching Tony grow and develop.  He also told them of the sadness he felt on the death of is Aunt Ritma and a man named Barry Botteril -- both unflappable characters.
  • The K family slept in on January 1.  AKIC had no hangover.  His first conscious moments of 2011 saw him wrestle with Tony who entered 2011 in a combative mood.  TKIC probably didn't like being kissed by his father who had a day's growth.  Later AKIC and TKIC sang while in bed.  TKIC can sing "If you're happy and you know it!".
  • JKIC decided it was a good day to move furniture.  It nearly resulted in a divorce.  AKIC found JKIC's directives confusing which roused J's ire.
  • All the while, Andis was able to do some surfing on the Internet.  He was able to download the latest Radio Derb podcast.
  • Tony said something about wanting to go outside.  Jenny told him that he would have to wait till after lunch (noodles it was).  Funny how after lunch, Tony changed his mind about going out.  But J wanted the K boys out.  She told AKIC to get some pineapple beer.  AKIC agreed even though he was happy with the cache of Tsingtao beer that was already in Casa K.
  • Exiting Casa K, AKIC formulated a plan to take the 610 bus to Qianzhou, buy a cola for Tony, and return to Yanqiao on the first available 610 bus.  However, the wait for the 610 was long and when it did arrive, it was crowded.  AKIC got on the bus but quickly decided to get off after one stop, mystifying the locals.  AKIC reasoned that once a plan was determined to be bad, the best thing to do is to abandon the plan quickly as possible -- damn the gracelessness of doing so.
  • The K boys got off at a stop near the Wu Culture Park which they decided to visit.  They saw what had become the same old what-not:  statues and supposed peasant farm implements.    AKIC took three videos -- the first of the 2011 video-making year.  Tony said the exact words "Happy New Year" during the videos.  Andis said "Xin Nian Kuai Le" and "Shin Ninny Cole Slaw".
  • The K boys then walked to downtown Yanqiao which was thankfully not so far away.  (It should be said that Andis carried Tony to downtown Yanqiao).  Along the way, they were cut-off by an ignorant driver make a quick turn with his SUV while not giving a damn for pedestrians.  Andis pointed a middle-finger in the general direction of the SUV.  So much for any thought of Christian forbearance in the face of rude behavior.  Also, AKIC could only frown as a trio of locals said "hello" to the K boys.  The trio followed the custom of saying "hello" to "laowai" in false stiletto "hello your foreign monkey" voices -- so much for AKIC's resolution of not thinking hostile thoughts and forgiving them because "they know not what they do!".
  • To a supermarket, that JKIC regularly goes to, AKIC and TKIC went.  The rationale for the trip there was for Andis to buy pineapple beer, and the plan was to then take a three-wheeled taxi back home.  First, Andis and Tony played some games.  Tony played some one-rmb toddler games and rode some one-rmb toddler rides; Andis shot baskets on another one-rmb machine -- Andis managed to get to the second level of the basketball game.  Andis wondered if he would do better if he wasn't  always was trying to make baskets with high-arced shots.  Finished playing, the K boys found no pineapple beer.
  • Adopt, Adapt, Improve.  AKIC, finding no beer at the supermarket, decided to go to downtown Yanqiao's other supermarket to see if any could be acquired.  Before going there, the K boys walked through the downtown where it was busy.  Andis couldn't determine if this was because it was Saturday or because it was January 1.  The goods to be acquired in the downtown, Andis noticed, were quite cheap and tawdry looking -- stuff for "country jakes", and would never be found in a "progressive's" neighborhood.  AKIC, while carrying TKIC, was able to take some photos and video of the crowded Yanqiao open air market.  He was stared at by a "country jake".  He bought TKIC some cheap "Thomas" train toys.  He saw and took photos of some "I fart in your general direction" sweat pants -- kids sized.
  • At the second supermarket, AKIC found four cans of pineapple beer.  However, Tony got into a snit because Andis wouldn't let him go to the the playground in the store.  Andis and Tony fought over a bag of potato chips which Tony wanted to throw on the ground because of his snitfulness.  Andis found that pretending to throw Tony to the ground was a good behavior modifier.
  • Andis then was cheated when he bought some cooked sweet and sour chicken, and shrimp for supper back at Casa K.  While this purchase was being made, Tony decided he had to pee.  He dropped his pants near the counter, and peed with a long arch that blocked the path in front of the counter.  All sorts of people then stepped in the resulting puddle of piss.
  • Andis recalled how the morning of December 31st, on the way to school, one of the passengers was so sick that she vomited into the bus bucket for five minutes.
  • After the being overcharged (while Tony peed a shaft of golden green) for food, Andis could at least rest assured that the three-wheeled taxi cab ride back to Casa K wasn't a scam -- five rmb and Andis had the pleasure of Tony falling asleep on his lap.  Arriving at the entrance to building 52, Tony said he wanted to go to sleep -- an amazing admission from a guy whose first sentence was "bu yao qi chuang le".
There you go!  Blogging or Typing?  What do you think?